Much has already been said about Joan Didion’s memoir, Blue Nights. Equally, much has been said about grief, ageing, parenting and health – by Didion and hundreds of other authors. For that reason I won’t dwell on every element of this book. However, one part stood out – ‘the chosen child’ narrative.
To provide context, Blue Nights examines the period after the sudden death of Didion’s husband, playwright John Gregory Dunne, AND separately, the slow death of their daughter, Quintana. It’s not about the raw and immediate grief, but rather the fragments – the bits we’re left with after everyone else is ‘getting on with life’. And it is these bits, scattered memories, that Didion interrogates in Blue Nights, looking for clues as to whether she was a ‘good’ mother and wife.
Memory fades, memory adjusts, memory conforms to what we think we remember. Continue reading