Edgar Allan Poe. Sinéad O’Connor. Vincent Van Gogh. Ernest Hemingway. Kurt Cobain. Winston Churchill. Amy Winehouse. Carrie Fisher. Brian Wilson.

This is just a portion of a much longer list of talented people who had a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Some of these people found a way to manage their diagnosis. Some of these people struggled with addiction. Some of these people ended their own lives.

Conor Bezane’s memoir, The Bipolar Addict, explores the particular challenges of those with a dual diagnosis – bipolar disorder and substance addiction.

As Bezane explains, a bipolar diagnosis frequently goes hand-in-hand with addiction. Initially, anyway. The cycle of mania and depression screams out for the crutch of drugs and alcohol (although more recent studies, since this book was published, suggest that there is a genetic correlation between bipolar and substance addiction).

The addiction continues when the coin is flipped and mania turns to depression. Now that you’re on the downslide, you’ll do anything to regain the euphoria you lost, or just make yourself feel slightly better than the agony brought on by the crushing blackness swallowing you.

The statistics are frighteningly plain – there are 5.7 million bipolar Americans and 60 percent of them are addicts (it was difficult to find an Australian comparison, although currently 2.9% of Australians aged 16 and over, or 568,000 people, have a bipolar diagnosis.

Bezane charts his own journey from anxious child and high-school misfit (who found his tribe in the punk music scene) to drinking and partying through university and the beginning of his career as a writer at MTV.

I’ve been drinking every single day for the past five years. At this point, I’m rather certain I could outdrink Kill ‘Em All-era James Hetfield of Metallica, a band whose consumption was so legendary in the ’80s that it earned the named Alcoholica. I’m also on seven different drugs for my bipolar disorder.

Throughout his adult years, he experienced periods of deep depression and then mania, marked by spending sprees, benders and being extremely creative and productive at work (or so it seemed to him).

I long for the mania that so often comes with being bipolar, and being drunk feels almost like it.

Ultimately, Bezane’s family staged an intervention and with time in rehab, he became sober and better managed his medication for bipolar. His love of music and writing have been instrumental in maintaining sobriety, allowing him to find focus and a new community.

The final third of the book features stories about the people Bezane met during his rehab – it’s not all happy endings, but each of the stories highlights the particular difficulties faced by people with a dual diagnosis, and the need for supports in order to maintain sobriety.

…regardless of which problem came first, and which may have contributed to the cause of the other (and this can happen in either direction…), once bipolar disorder and addiction are present, each one requires specific treatment. Furthermore, there may be other issues. Most of the people in this book had significant trauma issues… These issues also require specific attention…

Bezane’s writing is straightforward, frank and at times quite shocking. His honesty about the extent of his alcohol and drug consumption is confronting, and I felt so sad about the lengths he went to in order to hide what was going on in his life – no one ever wakes up one day and decides to become an alcoholic, right? The book lost pace at the end with the stories about others – although somewhat interesting, they lacked the depth and the honesty of Bezane’s first-person perspective.

3/5

I received my copy of The Bipolar Addict from the publisher, Redwood Digital Publishing, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.

I don’t eat much, maybe a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if I’m not too lazy to buy bread and make one. In fact, if beer is the entrée, then crack is my digestif.