I’ve watched five seasons of Made in Chelsea. It’s trash. I know… But it’s my televisual crack. Thoughts:

1. People who don’t live in SW3 commonly refer to people who do live in SW3 as ‘rah-rahs’ – that makes me laugh.

2. The producers have eleventy million minutes of filler footage composed entirely of champagne being poured, the Chelsea embankment signage and wrought-iron fences.

3. Spencer is a knob. Of the first order.

4. Louise – pull yourself together girl.

5. Their holidays – #jealous.

6. Binky – reckon we’d be mates.

7. Binky’s mum – tops.

8. Soundtrack – so, so, so good.

9. Jobs – no one has them as far as I can tell.

10. Lucy – I always say never trust a woman who has no long-term female friends.

And lastly (and most importantly), it’s all about

11.  Mark-Francis. #hilarious